For the first time, I have felt that I’m not a reading machine at all; I am human. I may just have a bionic penchant for reading. I am not as callous as the blisters on my feet. I can be in a lot of pain. I can draw my attention to other things more than to books. I am vulnerable to human’s little foibles, specifically love. Aha! Yes, love! (laughs) Furthermore,I can scarcely run away from the reality that I have created to live in and that has taken possession of me for a long time- my tendency to be off my rocker. And so, I was abandoned to these delusional states of mind in that I was negligent in my bookish duty, failed to read as many as 100 books as though I had been given a pledge to do so . But now I am standing up with a determined chin , full of hopes, burning desire to turn over a new leaf, and optimistic about my life, and proud to say that I survived year 2016, and it made a big difference to me.
First, I broke the pachyderm wall that I had built for many years, apart from the social animals. I came out of my shell where I holed up in and kept everything to myself as though I was such a misanthrope that books were just my friends. Also,I am not that a consummate nerd any longer like a hermit who could not stand the dredge of society. Likewise, I don’t look like a backward person falling behind the current trends . In fact,I couldn’t be a butt of tease any longer that I smell like an old codger.(laughs) I love myself now more than before. Gee whiz! I am turning to narcissism; I tend to be foppish nowadays.
Secondly, I always try to take everything easy out. I am no longer a person who can be called “negastar” as if it was the end of the world when I could not hammer out a complicated situation. I am now trying to be positive under any circumstances like what I used to be when I was still fully inculcated in the pragmatic principles of social sciences. I miss the old “me” , the independent, levelheaded “me”.
Most importantly,I learned to keep my feet on the ground. After all, I turn out to be one of the miserable nitwits in the universe. I realized that aside from family, the first thing that I have to consider establishing in my 30’s is cherishing the people I can still consider my (real ) friends. Happiness is not just all about intellectual Olympics. Thomas Merton is right. No man is an island.
As of now, I am trying to fit myself in any circles of people , from different walks of life. I brush off the Filipino cultural stereotype of “plasticism” or ” caha-de-oro syndrome“. Rather, I should engrave the heap-coals-of-fire-on-his-head virtue in my molted mind. Rather, all I want is to do the things that will make me happy.
Finally, although I failed to do my reading goal last year, I realized that I have this bookish leanings after all. What I feel now is I am gung-ho about the books I have hidden for many months, the books I splurged on given that I was almost financially embarrassed, but I still am. (laughs)
In 2017, I plan to finish the books on my currently-reading list on Goodreads, particularly the one given to me by the writer himself, I have knocked around and now garnished with dust bunnies.In fact, I miss reading more than 20 books in a month like what I did in 2015. I was such a bloody monster at that time.
So far, I have read three books: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Matilda by Roald Dahl, and Falling into the Manhole by Jack S. Wigley.
I have still been musing over my reviews of them. I hope I am able to post any of them next week.
Belated Happy New Year folks!!! 🙂