Guilty Pleasure

I am sick. I am diagnosed with a chronic illness only bookworms can understand what it feels like. For sure, if you find it out,  you might bubble an idea of idiosyncrasies.

I am sick. Whenever I drop into  my favorite stomping ground,  it takes me time to decide whether I should buy the ones  I have dug out  from the mountain of books. Thinking about the moral consequences I could face in the future. How much do I still have in my  purse? Have I checked the list of the monthly fees  I   have to get by on? Could I sacrifice allotting my little stipend ? My brain is undecided, up in the air. One at  a time, another thoughts dictating to my  vulture  brain , saturated with guilty pleasures. It wants to wolf down on a genre : Galileo’s Daughter. Shit! It is  a historical non-fiction. I love such genre. Restless, I looked around, paging through the books, peering at their spines , assuming an air of pretense that I wanted to buy them. I was in a dilemma of choosing what is right or wrong. Then…then…then..somewhere the darkest  corner of  my mind comes the  sound , “ Get on with it!You are gonna finish another one.” Here we go! putting back the book.  Haist! Here it goes again.  A guilty feeling   is coming over me. My mind and conscience are engaging in a dispute.

Good Grief! (sighs)


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